the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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