After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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