i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
