Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it's like heaven, but drunker
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize