yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
