My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
