Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
