Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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