Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
