So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
