There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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