It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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