ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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