Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
