Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
