booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
