The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
