So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I will be naked everywhere
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
