Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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