This girl is more easily done than said...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
