I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
only you would photoshop your dick
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
