You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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