I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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