I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
