I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
