Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
