Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
