Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Define "chronic" masturbator.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
