I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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