I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
