Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
