You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
