Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
no more duck duck goose at the bar
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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