So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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