You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
