Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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