maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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