Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
