oh god the rape fog is back!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
