i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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