Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
