recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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