My nipple is on Facebook.
She is in my trunk
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
