My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
