So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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