margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
