singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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