If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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