Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
