I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
