Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
