"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
