I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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